“Waaahhhhh.“

Shut up.

It that’s you, I bet you’re the type of person who goes to an Applebee’s, orders an app and an entree, eats it all, and then complains about the food and service, looking to get your money back. Then when you do, you base your tip off of the price of the check you paid, which was nothing.

Then you look at your server and say, “What’s 18% of nothing?”

And then add in a “Don’t spend it all in one place,” as you are walking out the door.

You are the worst.

If you can’t handle Applebee’s at its worst, then you don’t deserve Applebee’s at its best.

And yeah, I’m talking about the bottomless riblet basket of week four.

Go mow your lawn instead, loser.

Anyway, here are the 10 best games this week with 10 adequate bets for you right along with them.

Saturday September 16

No. 3 Florida State (2-0) at Boston College (1-1) (+24.5) | 12:00 pm | ABC

The last time Boston College beat Florida State as an underdog was in 2017 when they defeated the Seminoles 35-3 as 5.5-point dogs. That was a much different Florida State program back then. That was before the transfer portal saved their program from obscurity. Like finding a priceless work of art at a thrift store. Others had no doubt seen FSU on the shelves before, dismissing it as a Taggart. But Mike Norvell knew that he was looking at an authentic piece from Jimbo Fisher, it just needed to be verified and touched up. Sure, the market is hit and miss with Fisher works, but if you can find his earlier stuff, it could be a good investment. His newer stuff, however, is just a money grab.

No. 7 Penn State (2-0) at Illinois (1-1) (+14.5) | 12:00 pm | FOX

Everybody knows that the last time these two teams met, the game went nine overtimes. Illinois won that game 20-18. What many people forget about that game was that the Nittany Lions were 24-point favorites. Look, we’re not going to get another nine overtimes in this one, so stop hoping for it. Set your sights on eight overtimes, and if they hit nine, then just consider it a bonus. Penn State has the top scoring offense in the Big Ten. They’re running the ball for 230 yards per game, and they’re still not yet as effective as they could be. That’s good news for Penn State and bad news for everybody else. Illinois has the worst defense in the Big Ten right now, and their offense isn’t consistent enough to cover it up. Still, I’m not touching any kind of line that involves James Franklin vs. Bret Bielema. (1) But I will take PSU quarterback Drew Allar +247.5 yards passing and (2) Nittany Lion running back Kaytron Allen over 62.5 yards rushing.

No. 14 LSU (1-1) at Mississippi State (2-0) (+10) | 12:00 pm | ESPN

LSU is one of the ranked road favorites against non-pushovers this week. There are going to be some upsets, but it would probably be too hilarious for it to happen here. With playoff hopes, LSU isn’t going to start the season 1-2, right? The Bulldogs’ defense has been soft to this point, so I like the Tigers being able to move the ball. Quarterback Jayden Daniels should have a good day. The SEC West is completely up for grabs, and LSU may actually be the favorites right now. When people talk about how “bad” weeks of college football turn into the craziest weeks, it’s games like this that make it happen. (3) Let’s take those points and clanga clanga clanga all the way to the window. As a related aside, cow bells are greatly discouraged at sports books. But if you don’t mind being tased, have at it. And since we’re already at the window, let’s parlay the +10 with LSU receiver Brian Thomas posting over 56.5 yards receiving.

No. 15 Kansas State (2-0) at Missouri (2-0) (+3.5) | 12:00 pm | SECN

The line has dropped a bit over the last couple of days, which has me concerned about my patented Seven-Star, Gold Pipe Lock of the Week of (4) Kansas State -3.5. Heck, I liked the Wildcats when it was -5, but the drop does concern me. Mizzou can’t run the ball right now — averaging just 3.8 yards per carry in games against South Dakota and Middle Tennessee. Granted, it’s not like Kansas State has played anybody to this point, tallying their wins against Southeast Missouri and Troy. But we always pretty much know who Kansas State is. They’re like a sitcom dad. They’ve been played by many different actors, and the vast majority of them are buffoonish, but with a heart of gold. That’s Kansas State. They may be dumb at times, but by the end of the game, you’re like, “I wish that was my dad.”

South Carolina (1-1) at No. 1 Georgia (2-0) (-27.5) | 3:30 pm | CBS

South Carolina can’t run the ball right now, which is not good news for them as they head to Georgia. The Gamecocks are going to put their entire game plan on quarterback Spencer Rattler’s shoulders. Since South Carolina last stole a win at No. 4 Georgia in 2019, the Bulldogs have beaten the Gamecocks 45-16, 40-13, and 48-7. They may still not be over that loss, so don’t be shocked by another 40-something to less than 20-something. Georgia’s not running the ball all that well yet, so maybe there is a hope that South Carolina can keep it within four touchdowns. Even if they can’t, (5) I like Rattler being able to throw for over 204.5 yards in this one. He’s averaging 349.5 yards passing per game, and he should get plenty of attempts, especially in the fourth quarter.

Minnesota (2-0) at No. 20 North Carolina (2-0) (-7.5) | 3:30 pm | ESPN

Minnesota is scoring 19 points per game, which is not the kind of offense that you want to take on the road against a ranked opponent. The good news, however, is that you can always count on the North Carolina defense for help. They’re like the Red Cross for offenses in need. After only giving up 17 points to South Carolina in a 31-17 win to start the season, UNC went to the wire with Appalachian State before winning 40-34 last week. Even with North Carolina’s help, I don’t see the Gophers scoring more than a couple of touchdowns. (6) I think UNC has enough defense to lay the 7.5 points. Let’s also parlay that with over 32.5 yards rushing for North Carolina quarterback Drake Maye, but under 265.5 yards passing.

No. 8 Washington (2-0) at Michigan State (2-0) (+16.5) | 5:00 pm | Peacock

Washington is leading the nation in passing, averaging 472 yards per game though the air. Quarterback Michael Penix has thrown for 450 and 409 yards in his two games this year. I don’t know if he’ll get to 400 yards in this one, but he could if they want to. I have no idea how Michigan State is going to look in this game. There is so much going on off the field for the Spartans right now that it wouldn’t be a surprise if the fight is already gone this year. But even if the fight is still there, is the defense? They’ve shut down both of their opponents this year, but they’ve played an AAU team from an Amish league and the weird guys from across the hall, half of whom are exchange students from France. If MSU quarterback Noah Kim can have the game of his life, maybe this is a shootout for three quarters. (7) Washington -16.5 seems like it makes sense to me.

No. 11 Tennessee (2-0) at Florida (1-1) (+6.5) | 7:00 pm | ESPN

This used to be one of college football’s best rivalries. Now it’s just one of Tennessee’s best rivalries. That’s not bad, I guess. And like I always say, ‘if it’s still cool in Pigeon Forge, then it’s still cool to me.’ Tennessee quarterback Joe Milton can throw a football 100 yards, but he’s averaging under 7 yards per pass attempt this season. During an actual game, he would need to throw 15 passes to reach those 100 yards. Why aren’t we seeing any stories about that? He has a big arm, but can only complete small passes. Like owning a tank but you can only use it to parallel park. Florida quarterback Graham Mertz is actually listed higher on the SEC pass efficiency leaderboard than Milton. I just hope this battle of former Big Ten quarterbacks lives up to the hype. Of course, it shouldn’t be difficult since there isn’t actually any hype to live up to. (8) And that’s just about all the reason I need to take Florida +6.5 here.

BYU (2-0) at Arkansas (2-0) (-8.5) | 7:30 pm | ESPN2

Everybody always talks about the difficulty in playing at elevation in places like Utah or Colorado, but nobody talks about the culture shock of going from Utah to Arkansas. It can be incredibly difficult to handle. Fortunately the BYU players have had weeks to prepare. Plus they all have Rosetta Stone accounts to learn the language. That preparation probably won’t win them this game, however. The offense has been bad, and Arkansas right now is giving up just 1.4 yards per carry. The Razorbacks haven’t faced anybody worth note, however, so their defense is currently inflated like a mylar balloon, but much less shiny. Arkansas quarterback KJ Jefferson hasn’t been great yet, but he’s been effective at times. It’s like using a rooster as a clock. You won’t know what time of day or night it is most of the time, but the one time per day he lets you know, you’ll really know. (9) Arkansas feels like a safe pick here, so go ahead and lay the points and rest easy until KJ Jefferson tells you what time it is.

Colorado State (0-1) at No. 18 Colorado (2-0) (-23.5) | 10:00 pm | ESPN

Colorado State head coach Jay Norvell went and made this very personal rivalry game personal when he insinuated that he was more of a grown up than Colorado head coach Deion Sanders. And we all know the best way to show how mature you are is by bragging about your maturity. “My mom says I’m mature for my age.” “That’s great, but the question was ‘Where do you see yourself at this company in five years?'” I do like that Deion thought that this was what made the game personal. It’s not quite on the level of the time Ohio State athletic director Andy Geiger was interviewing Oregon head coach Mike Bellotti as a possible replacement for John Cooper and legend has it that Bellotti asked if the Buckeyes had to play Michigan every year. But at least with Bellotti there was awareness of a rivalry. Buffs quarterback Shadeur Sanders is putting up big numbers (451 yards passing per game), but he has been getting hit a ton. He’s been sacked 11 times in two games, and hit even more than that. I haven’t seen a father actively trying to destroy his son this badly since Darth Vader. And just like in that battle, (10) I’m taking the younger Jedi (to throw for more than 338.5 yards). Colorado State has only played once this season, but they gave up 466 yards passing to Washington State.

The post Ten Best For The Weekend – Week Three appeared first on Saturday Glory.

College football is a variety show with sketches, deep political discussions, slapstick humor, great musical guests, and there’s always a hilarious monologue from USC’s defense.

The NFL is basically just reruns of NCIS starring Lt. Phil Simms.

Meanwhile, with college football you are guaranteed to see something new every week. That’s what makes this sport so difficult to predict, and so impossible to turn away from.

We are all basically pre-rubbernecking. We know something disastrous is going to happen if we just watch a little bit longer.

We are sadists if nothing else. And we are legion.

Friday September 8

Illinois (1-0) at Kansas (1-0) (-3) | 7:30 pm | ESPN2

Kansas quarterback Jalon Daniels is expected to start this week after missing last week’s opener against Southwest Missouri State with back tightness. He can be a dynamic playmaker when healthy, but back issues have a way of showing up at the worst possible times. They’re basically the neighbors from hell. They’ll poison your animals or park their RV in the yard or show up on your doorbell camera at 3 in the morning slurring Bob Seger songs. Illinois comes into this game off of a 30-28 desperation win over Toledo. Rockets quarterback Dequan Finn threw for 230 yards and ran for 75 more. Jalon Daniels could have a big day, but so could Illini quarterback Luke Altmeyer, who threw for 206 and ran for 69 in the win over UT. He will need to avoid the bad turnovers, however. Given Illinois’ overall struggles against Toledo, (1) I like Kansas -3 in this one.

Saturday September 9

No. 10 Notre Dame (2-0) at North Carolina State (1-0) (+7.5) | 12:00 pm |ABC

It seems like people are wanting to buy into Notre Dame right now given their 2-0 start. It’s not every team in the nation that could beat Navy and Tennessee State to open the season, but it is most of them. North Carolina State quarterback Brennan Armstrong lit up the ACC two years ago as Virginia’s quarterback, but he missed the Notre Dame game that year with a rib injury. He should be able to cause some trouble. If he can avoid the turnovers, this could go down to the final possession. Irish quarterback Sam Hartman continues his obligatory Heisman campaign as college football tips its cap to its old ways, back when the sport fought in two World Wars and worked for 62 years as a mail carrier. (2) That being said, I will take Hartman to throw over 1.5 touchdowns.

Nebraska (0-1) at No. 22 Colorado (1-0) (-3) | 12:00 pm | FOX

No team has captured the imagination of the college football universe like Nebraska. Specifically, people are wondering if Scott Frost has just executed the biggest con of all-time and pulled a Face/Off with Matt Rhule? Is Matt Rhule actually sedated in a hospital bed somewhere with no face, while Frost is out living it up as Mayor McRunza once again in Lincoln? Based on how badly Nebraska collapsed in their loss to Minnesota last week, I think the only answer is yes. Colorado, meanwhile, shocked everyone with a week one shootout win at TCU. This is not your grandfather’s Buffs team (mainly because your grandfather’s Buffs team could actually run the ball). Shadeur Sanders threw for 500 yards against TCU, so who knows what he’s going to do in this one. Despite what Deion Sanders is trying to tell everybody, Colorado is still an unknown. If Nebraska is going to steal this one, they’ll need a more consistent game from quarterback Jeff Sims. Expect Sims to be used heavily as a runner, which is why (3) I like the over on his 67.5 rushing yards. And while we’re talking quarterbacks, go ahead and (4) give me the over on Sanders’ 315.5 yards passing. It is way too early to start having expectations for what this Colorado offense is, but if Coach Prime is eventually going to find out what we’re all saying about his team, I’d like to have some positive things written for him that I can point to.

No. 20 Ole Miss (1-0) at No. 24 Tulane (1-0) (+7.5) | 3:30 pm | ESPN2

This line has climbed from 6 to 7.5 over the course of the week. Tulane should be relatively tough for Ole Miss to run against, but that’s why the Rebels have one of the best tailbacks in the game. Quinshon Judkins didn’t get much work in the opener last week against Mercer, but he may need to be a workhorse in this one. Tulane quarterback Michael Pratt completed 14-of-15 passes for 294 yards and four touchdowns last week against South Alabama. He will get his second-consecutive shot at a directional Alabama school this week as the Green Wave take on the West Alabama Rebels. Despite the talented offenses, (5) I’m taking the under because 66.5 is too many points this early in the season.

No. 23 Texas A&M (1-0) at Miami (1-0) (+3.5) | 3:30 pm | ABC

A capacity seating chart of 64,992 places to sit will be witness to one of the biggest games of the week. And many of those places to sit will actually have fans in them! Texas A&M beat Miami 17-9 last year in College Station, but this year they’ll have to do it in the relative silence of Hard Rock Stadium. For the traveling Texas A&M fans, I want to reassure you that just because the place looks like an abandoned Sea World, there is no Shamu skeleton stashed away in a room somewhere. That was sold to a private buyer decades ago. And if anybody in a Hurricanes jersey tries to ask if you want to go see it, do NOT go with them. In terms of the on-field stuff, picking against the SEC West generally goes poorly for me, but I don’t know if A&M really qualifies since they play more like an SEC East team. This game confuses me. I can see a shootout with two talented quarterbacks or I could see a bunch of athletes on defense causing problems for two offenses that have yet to be tested.

Iowa (1-0) at Iowa State (1-0) (+3.5) | 3:30 pm | FOX

Everybody talks about the CyHawk Trophy being up for grabs in this game but nobody ever talks about how the losing team has to eat the entire Iowa State Fair butter cow before they can go home. If you combined both of these offenses, they’d have the No. 20 offense in the nation in terms of yards per game. The over/under on this is 36.5 points. Even with these two teams, that feels too low to take. But then if you think a 20-17 score seems high — which I do — don’t you have to (6) take the under? You’re never going to go broke taking the under with the Hawkeyes, after all.

No. 11 Texas (1-0) at No. 3 Alabama (1-0) (-7) | 7:00 pm | ESPN

The Game of the Year of the Week. It sure looked like Alabama was gonna lose this game last year until they knocked Quinn Ewers out of the game. They took a page out of their playbook from the national championship game in 2009 when they knocked Colt McCoy out of the game. Despite having that knowledge, I am still riding with Ewers in this one — to a point, at least. This should be a bit of a shootout, so (7) I like Ewers over 250.5 yards passing, and (8) over 1.5 touchdown passes. (9) I’m still taking the Tide -7, however.

No. 13 Oregon (1-0) at Texas Tech (0-1) (+6.5) | 7:00 pm | FOX

Texas Tech did not have a good start last week, losing 35-33 at Wyoming. Contrast that with Oregon’s 81-7 win over Portland State, and you’d expect a larger spread here. The fact that it’s under a touchdown should tell you that both teams are expected to bounce back closer to reality this week. If so, this could be one of the more entertaining games of the week. While everybody is starting the 7:00 o’clock hour with Texas and Bama, it could be this one that takes the 10 o’clock hour.

No. 19 Wisconsin (1-0) at Washington State (1-0) (+6) | 7:30 pm | ABC

Leave it to Wisconsin to implement a new passing offense that rushes for 314 yards. If we expected Baskin-Robbins to open up a salad restaurant, it was our own fault. The Badgers may still be running the ball, but they’re doing it with more tempo. This could lead to a shootout, especially if Washington State quarterback Cameron Ward plays close to the way he did in the opener against Colorado State. In a 50-24 win over the Rams, Ward threw for 451 yards and three touchdowns, while rushing for 40 yards and a fourth touchdown. Luke Fickell’s defense is still being developed, and they’re going to have their hands full in Pullman. This couldn’t feel more like a trap for Wisconsin if Admiral Ackbar was calling the game. One thing the Badgers have going for them is the fact that Wazzu beat them in Madison last year, so at least they understand the possibilities here. Wisconsin has lost three-consecutive regular season contests against Pac 12 teams, so nobody is happier about the conference’s collapse than they are, which is pretty petty on their part. (10) And yes, I already feel stupid for taking the over on 58 points, which begs the question of why I don’t just edit this to take the under? Okay, let’s go with the under. Does this make me feel better? Not really.

UCLA (1-0) at San Diego State (2-0) (+14) | 7:30 pm | CBS

UCLA freshman quarterback Dante Moore was impressive last week. He didn’t start, but he provided an offensive spark, completing 7-of-12 passes for 143 yards with two touchdowns and an interception. Chip Kelly isn’t announcing a starter just yet, but even if Moore doesn’t start, he can change the tone and momentum when he comes in. The Aztecs come into this game undefeated, but they needed an injured Ohio quarterback in week one to make that happen. An 8-point win over Idaho State last week was unimpressive. The Bruins have won their last five games as road favorites, but 14 points seems like a lot to cover right now.

The post Ten Best For The Weekend: Week Two appeared first on Saturday Glory.

Last week was nice, but it was kind of like a homemade popsicle. It does the job, but you’re never going to go to the grocery store and pay for something like that. And you’re definitely never going to serve it to company.

“Hey, you have anything cool and refreshing in the freezer?”

“Um, no. No, definitely not.”

“Well, let me just look because I find it hard to believe that you would invite company over and not have anything frozen and delicious to serve to us.”

“No, please don’t open that –“

“What in the world? Is this Kool-Aid frozen in ice trays with toothpicks sticking out of them. How did you even get past the HOA’s screening process? Janet, call the police! We have poors!”

Yes, we were all poors last week. But now we are all rich. (Unless, of course, we put any money on any of those stupid games last week.)

Now, however, our freezers are full of all kinds of novelties and we don’t care who finds out. We don’t have anything to hide anymore because the full season is finally here.

And it starts with a bang Thursday night.

If this is your first time reading this, we’ll be looking at the 10 most interesting games of the weekend, and maybe some tips for a little action on the side as well.

Thursday August 31

Nebraska at Minnesota (-7.5) | 8:00 pm | FOX

Matt Rhule is making his debut as Nebraska’s head coach and he has a nation of Cornhusker fans longing for a return to the heyday of Frank Solich. The football program will never match the women’s volleyball program, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t at least try. I have been on the Nebraska bandwagon for more years than I’d like to admit (because they were the Scott Frost years). The first step towards a Big Ten championship for both of these teams starts tonight. A loss doesn’t end their hopes, however, because a 5-4 conference record might still win the division. I really think trying to pick Big Ten West games is a fool’s errand, but we didn’t get dressed up for nothin’. Let’s ride with Rhule and (1) take the 7.5 points for the Huskers.

Florida at No. 14 Utah (-5.5) | 8:00 pm | ESPN

It looks like Utah quarterback Cam Rising is out, which is a blow to the Utes, but that dude has so much moxie that you can’t keep it from getting all over the rest of the team. It’s like cat dander. There’s no avoiding it. This Utah team is going to be sneezing vengeance all over the Gators. Florida, meanwhile, is traveling out of the state for a non-conference road game for the first time since 1991. I just hope all of the Florida parents have signed the permission slips to allow the travel. You would hate to see some players left back home. This game without Cam Rising and with Graham Mertz feels like it’s going to be low scoring, which is why (2) I’m liking the under on 44.5.

Friday September 1

Miami (OH) at Miami (FL) (-16.5) | 7:00 pm | ACCN

This is being labeled as The Battle of the Miamis, and while these two schools may share a name, there aren’t any other similarities between them. Miami University has been around since 1809 and was essentially born from a proclamation by George Washington. The University of Miami, meanwhile, was established in 1925 as a place to store British convicts.* The Hurricanes return a ton of starters and have added additional pieces as well. The hope is that quarterback Tyler Van Dyke can get back to his form of 2021 when he threw for 366 yards per game with 20 touchdowns and three interceptions over the final six games of the season. The hope for the RedHawks is that they provide the most devastating win of the weekend. You’d just hate to see John Ruiz not get his money’s worth here. Speaking of money, how about (3) taking the over on Tyler Van Dyke’s passing yards of 274.5?
*citation needed

Saturday September 2

Colorado at No. 17 TCU (-20.5) | 12:00 pm | FOX

After much ballyhoo, Deion Sanders will finally make his debut as Colorado’s head coach. He has turned over the Buffs’ roster almost completely. There is obviously a ton of excitement and interest around the program right now, but this isn’t going to be an easy process for Sanders and Colorado. You don’t just show up, kick everybody off the team, bring in a bunch of players from other teams, and then suddenly have a thing. I don’t care how nice your luggage is. It’s still just luggage. It’s what’s inside the luggage that matters. I will be interested to see if anybody transfers out at halftime, or if anybody transfers in. Will Colorado be throwing jerseys on new players at halftime like Bishop Sycamore? Even with the excitement, we’re all going to be patient with Coach Prime. So patient, in fact, that we’re going to (4) take the under at 63.5. But there is some concern that TCU will go over that number on their own.

Virginia at No. 12 Tennessee (-28) | 12:00 pm | ABC

They say that Tennessee quarterback Joe Milton can throw a football 100 yards, which would perfect if head coach Josh Heupel wanted to recreate a 100-yard Tecmo Bowl touchdown pass. Outside of that, however, being able to throw a football 100 yards is about as useful as controlling a stapler with your mind. Yeah, it’s a neat trick, but we’re kind of going to a paperless society here. Do you maybe have a super power that involves laundry? Everybody is singing Milton’s praises and expecting him to pick up where Hendon Hooker left off, and then take the Vols higher. He may do that, but I need to have my memory erased of his time at Michigan because that clouds everything I see. I’m willing to be wrong because Tennessee’s offense is fun to watch when it’s clicking.

No. 3 Ohio State at Indiana (+30.5) | 3:30 pm | CBS

Welcome to the dawning of the age of Kyle McCord. The junior will get the first crack to be the latest greatest quarterback in Ohio State history. That’s way too much to put on him, but Ryan Day’s run of quarterbacks right now is the best in school history by multitudes. They aren’t asking McCord to be Dwayne Haskins or Justin Fields or CJ Stroud, however. They’re just asking him to get the ball to the best selection of skill players in the country. This is a huge line for the Buckeyes to match in week one, especially with a new quarterback. Combine that with what is expected to be a bad Indiana offense and a good Ohio State defense, and this feels like another good reason to (5) take the under at 59.5, and also (6) take the under on Indiana’s 14.5 total points.

No. 21 North Carolina at South Carolina (+2.5) | 7:30 pm | ABC

I realize North Carolina’s defense should be better this year, but I also realize the definition of “should.” In a week where I’m extolling the virtues of the under like a hellfire preacher in the middle of campus, I’m feeling like having a little sip of devilbrau and (7) taking the over at 64.5. Slow starts for offenses are a thing this early in the season, but there’s going to be a high-scoring game somewhere. Why not here?

West Virginia at No. 7 Penn State (-19.5) | 7:30 pm | NBC

You know NBC has to be thrilled to be aligned with the Big Ten. The network is finally partnered with a Midwestern entity that can reach a national audience. This is going to be a banner year for the network, and their new NBC Sports logo was a nice touch too. It’s good to see these two storied programs playing again. West Virginia against the West Virginia of Pennsylvania. What else could you ask for? While everybody is talking about Michigan and Ohio State, James Franklin and Penn State are laying in the weeds with designs on a Big Ten Championship. Get ready for the bold declarations coming out of this game one way or another based solely on PSU quarterback Drew Allar’s play this week. It could get Morellian. Even though Allar will get the attention, (8) I like Penn State’s over 34.5 total points because of their running game.

Sunday September 3

No. 5 LSU vs No. 8 Florida State (+2.5) (Orlando, FL) | 7:30 pm | ABC

The aura of the SEC is doing a lot of work here. You can generally count on that aura to be able to do two things: 1) alter the Vegas lines; and 2) know its way around an outboard motor. The latter has no factor on this game, but the former could be beneficial to us all. If this game was being played in Tallahassee, I’d like FSU’s chances more. But I still like them quite a bit. I don’t think taking them to win outright is all that crazy, but if you’re going to root for the Noles, maybe just (9) take the 2.5 points instead. Leave yourself a little room for error. This is still Florida State, after all. And you know what? Let’s go ahead and count on these two playmaking quarterbacks to (10) make enough plays to hit the over of 55.5. Even if it takes overtime.

Monday September 4

No. 9 Clemson at Duke (+13.5) | 8:00 pm | ESPN

Clemson head coach Dabo Sweeney has finally gone outside of the program for help with his offense. He hired TCU’s Garrett Riley as offensive coordinator in the offseason, which should bode well for quarterback Cade Klubnik. He’s got weapons around him and a defense that should allow him to grow into a more confident player. I really think we need to applaud Dabo here. It shows maturity and growth to admit failure and go get somebody from the outside to run the offense. Sure, some would say that’s the sign of a weak family, but those people are Ferentzes. Duke won nine games last year. Their four losses were by a combined 16 points. Everything is screaming for me to take Duke and the points, but I’m worried I’m just overhearing the Ferentzes again.

The post Ten Best For The Weekend — Week One appeared first on Saturday Glory.

It’s not quite kegs and eggs, but we had to grow up sometime.

Saturday is Week Zero for college football, and while it’s not the best week of the season, it’s better than the feckless, Fickell-less hellscape we’ve been living in since January.

But we’re here now, and you better believe we’re going to enjoy every moment of it.

Each week of this college football season I’ll be taking a look at the 10 best games to watch, and throwing in a few questionably valid tips here and there.

I would say that everything that follows from here is for entertainment purposes only, but that sounds both arrogant and presumptuous.

Saturday August 26

Chaminade-Madonna (FL) vs. St. Frances Academy (MD) | 12:00 pm | ESPN

Look, when it’s Week Zero and you’ve come up with a gimmick of where you have to write about 10 games and there aren’t 10 college games to write about, you dip into the high school ranks. I’m basically a McDonald’s from 1991 looking for employees. I cannot promise competitive wages, paid time off, or opportunity for advancement, but fortunately gas is only $1.47 a gallon in this timeline, so it won’t cost you that much to get here. I can, however, give you every other weekend off, provided you can get somebody to cover your shift for the weekends you won’t be working. We also provide a 15% discount on meals for employees (No McDLTs). Anyway, back to the present day, you’re gonna be so ramped up after watching College Gameday that you’re going to need something to watch RIGHT EFFING NOW. I give you Chaminade-Madonna against St. Frances. Two of the best high school programs around. Chaminade-Madonna has the best receiver room in the nation that isn’t located in Columbus. That room includes five-star prospects Jeremiah Smith (Ohio State commit) and JoJo Trader (Miami commit). Meanwhile, St. Frances has a defense with more future collegians than a country club daycare. It’ll be fun. This will scratch your itch better than the ruler you keep on your desk.

Navy vs. Notre Dame (-21) (Dublin) | 2:30 pm | NBC |

The Irish were favored by 16.5 over Navy last year, and nearly covered, beating the Midshipmen 35-32. That game came after an oddly dominating 35-14 win over Clemson where the Irish treated the Tigers like a Midwesterner treats a Myrtle Beach Motel 6 after an extra large Papa John’s and a 2-liter of Big K cola. There will be no let down this week, unless the Notre Dame players end up in one too many pubs. I have to assume there are more things to do in Ireland than visit pubs and golf in the rain, but I’ve never seen proof in the movies. There is no better time to play an option team than in the season opener, so give Notre Dame credit for not being idiots here. They’ve been preparing for this game for months. Let’s just expect a slow start offensively for both squads, which leads me to (1) liking the under on 49.5.

UTEP at Jacksonville State (+1.5) | 5:30 pm | CBSSN

Jacksonville State is the very last team in Phil Steele’s preview magazine, which is like being the last kid picked in fifth-grade dodgeball. Even behind the kid who strikes out in kickball (that would be Sam Houston, by the way). This is Jacksonville State’s first game as a member of the FBS, so this is going to be the biggest thing to hit Jacksonville, Alabama since Cooter Brown’s Rib Shack opened 23 years ago. Rich Rodriguez is the head coach at Jacksonville State. He went 9-2 last year in his first year with the program. If there’s one thing we know about RichRod, it’s that if you hand him the keys, he can win anywhere in the country.*
*Offer not valid in Ann Arbor

UMass at New Mexico State (-7) | 7:00 pm | ESPN

This game features UMass head coach Don Brown against New Mexico State head coach Jerry Kill. If they were to partner up in a Euchre tournament and auction off the opportunity to spend the evening playing against them, I would spend an unfortunate amount of money to take part. I’d love to just sit and talk with them both over beers and cards. Plus I’d feel pretty good about my team’s chances of winning because you know Don Brown is always getting his partner euchred. The frustration from Jerry Kill would be intense. “How the hell are you going alone when I have the Right and the Left, Don!?” Also, (2) let’s go with the Aggies -7 here.

Ohio at San Diego State (-3) | 7:00 pm | FS1

Never before has an Ohio vs. San Diego State game been so anticipated. For one, there’s not a lot else going on. For two, this could be SDSU head coach Brady Hoke’s first real opportunity at a win over “Ohio.” If you’re a Bobcat fan, you just have to hope your team doesn’t get distracted by all of the amazing things to do in California and not bother to show up for a sporting event. Don’t be surprised when there is a vocal presence from the Ohio fans in the crowd. It’s a week-long drive back and forth, but it’s better than going to work. If you’re looking for some action, (3) bang the over on 0.5 touchdown receptions for Bobcat receiver Sam Wiglusz.

IMG Academy (FL) vs. St. Joseph’s Prep (PA) (Ocean City, NJ) | 7:00 pm | ESPN2

Yes, it’s another high school game, but there will be some talent on hand. IMG generally has half of Florida’s top 30 prospects. St. Joseph’s Prep has all kinds of FBS talent on hand as well. Interestingly, this could be a matchup that is watched closely in the Ohio State receivers room as St. Joseph’s Prep is where All-American Marvin Harrison, Jr. went to school, and IMG is where Marvin Harrison, Jr. Jr. went to school. You probably won’t tune in because you’ll be up to your ears in New Mexico State football. Just be careful not to let Aggie Football actually get into your ears, however, because it will lay eggs.

Hawaii at Vanderbilt (-17.5) | 7:30 pm | SECN

Vanderbilt went into Hawaii last year as 9.5-point and won 63-10, so 17.5 points seems very doable. (4) Some folks may have already gotten in at -17, but 17.5 still seems fine. Vandy is coming off of a season where they went 2-1 in their final three games against Kentucky, Florida, and Tennessee last year. That’s the kind of momentum that could mean something for any program other than Vanderbilt.

San Jose State at USC (-30.5) | 8:00 pm | P12N

You know those guys in The Lord of the Rings whose sole purpose is to sit up in the signal towers 24 hours a day looking to see if any other towers miles away raise a fire to signal danger or the need for help? That’s kind of how I feel about this game because I am one of the tower watchers who actually has the Pac 12 Network. I will be watching this fire and signaling to others via Twitter about what’s happening. Like, “Oh no, Gollum just went for 65 yards up the middle against Alex Grinch’s defense. Muster the Rohirrim!” When he is healthy, USC quarterback Caleb Williams is the best player in the country, so I think it’s okay to have a lot riding on him this week against the Spartans. That includes a five-leg parlay of (5) USC -10.5 in the first quarter, (6) USC over 40.5 points, (7) USC over 13.5 first quarter points, (8) USC -16.5 in the first half, and of course it wouldn’t be a USC game without also taking a sniff at their defense, so let’s add (9) San Jose State over 9.5 points. Watch for the towers, my friends, and be prepared to act.

FIU at Louisiana Tech (-11.5) | 9:00 pm | CBSSN

This game went to two overtimes last year, with FIU coming out with the 42-34 win. Former Texas Tech quarterback Sonny Cumbie is in his second season as the head coach at La Tech and my loyalty to him goes back to my old college fantasy football days. He may finally have a quarterback now with former Boise State Bronco Hank Bachmeier, who has had some good moments as a starter in his career. He has 13 career games with at least 250 yards passing. Florida International, meanwhile, hasn’t won a game since that double-overtime outing against the Bulldogs. Let’s go ahead and get back on the Sonny Cumbie train and (10) lay the 11.5. You only go broke once, right?

Mater Dei Catholic (CA) at Carlsbad (CA) | 10:00 pm | ESPN2

If you want to know why USC and UCLA bolted for the Big Ten, here’s one glimpse as to the reason — 95% of America can’t watch the University of Southern California play on Saturday night, but they can watch two California high schools play against each other. Carlsbad features five-star Alabama quarterback commit Julian Sayin, who will sign with Nick Saban in December but eventually play for Lane Kiffin when Saban retires.

The post Ten Best For The Weekend: Week Zero appeared first on Saturday Glory.

Just as there were plenty of interesting things said on Wednesday, so too was the case on Thursday. Here are the most interesting things each of the conference head coaches had to say on Thursday.

Scott Satterfield – Cincinnati

On having just one scholarship receiver returning from last year’s team: “Yeah, we have one scholarship player on our team right now that was with the team last fall. You mentioned we had a couple guys get drafted and several others that got in the portal before we got the transition before getting hired. We have now added many guys to the room, guys that are going to come in and really help us. I think this summer has been huge for our wide receiver room when you think about some of the guys we brought in.

“We brought in two players that were with me at University of Louisville that started for us over there. We brought in Xzavier Henderson that started at Florida, and we moved Evan Prater who was a quarterback, started last couple games, out to wide receiver this summer, as well. He’s looked really, really good. A very athletic player, good hands, strong, competitive. That room is really, I think, now in a position to go out and compete in the Big 12, and I think with some guys that have played a lot of football.”

Matt Campbell – Iowa State

On the impact that defensive coordinator Jon Heacock has had on him as a head coach: “For me, trust is so critical in this journey, especially in college football, and it’s a time in that relationships, continuity and trust, it’s hard to find that.

“But for me, that’s what Jon has meant to me. A young coach, shoot, I’m only 43; still far from having all the answers. You can imagine what I was at 32, 33 years old as a young head football coach, and to have somebody like Coach Heacock come on board who had had head coaching experiences, who had been through the highs and the lows that college football can bring, he’s been a steadying force every step of the way for me.

“I think what’s been so rewarding is to watch the success we’ve been able to have on defense and him get the credit for it. Because I do, I think Jon is one of the great coaches in college football. What we do on defense is not really what’s special. How we do what we do on defense is what’s made us really special, and it starts with his leadership.”

Chris Klieman – Kansas State

On the parity of play in the Big XII: “Well, there’s tremendous parity in the Big 12. You saw that last year with the amount of teams that either won one-score games or knocked people off, and every week you had to have your A game or you were going to get beat. I think that’s what college football is starting to become, as well. Recruiting is never ending. The transfer portal is never ending. So there’s so many players switching teams, so you’re always going to have increased parity.

“Some of the guys that maybe weren’t playing as much for you are on another team. Sometimes even in the same league. That always is going to increase competition. College football is really healthy, and I’m excited about the direction it’s going, especially once we get to the 12-team playoff.”

Brent Venables – Oklahoma

On Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy putting the blame on Oklahoma for ending Bedlam: “Look, I’m not in control of whether or not we play Oklahoma State. I love college football. I love the traditions of the game. I love rivalry games. Oklahoma and Oklahoma State have played for over 100 years, and Oklahoma has been dang good in those games for a long time. But whether or not we play them in the future, nobody is asking me what I think. If they do ask me, I’ll tell them what I think. I’d love to play the game. But we’re going to play the schedule that they put in front of us.”

Joey McGuire – Texas Tech

On Texas Tech’s 2023 recruiting class: “We feel really good. We signed the fastest class in the nation last year. That’s not a feel-good statement. You can look it up in black and white.”

On being aggressive offensively and going for it on fourth down: “More and more the game has become more analytical whenever it comes to that and the numbers. We meet every Thursday with Champion Analytics kind of to go over what we did right and maybe what we did wrong.

“We also look throughout the nation at different games, at different situations to try to learn from. Learned that from Dave Aranda. They do that at Baylor. If you watch and kind of see the trend, if you look at 2020 to 2021, the difference of coaches’ philosophy, of being on that staff and seeing the success, really kind of changed our philosophy a little bit.”

Gus Malzahn – UCF

On how the one-year clock rule in 2006 negatively impacted offenses by shortening the game, and if the new rules this year will hamper UCF’s offense: “No. We’re going to continue to put the hammer down. My first year in college football was 2006 when I was at Arkansas when they implemented that rule. You’re exactly right, that’s what happened.

“But I think this change is not going to be that drastic. It may limit a few plays a game, but I really don’t think as of right now it’s going to be that drastic, and we’re planning on putting the hammer down and playing as fast as we can.”

Neal Brown – West Virginia

On being picked to finish last in the Big XII by the conference media: “I’ll start with this because I’m sure I’m going to get asked about it. Upset about the media poll. Definitely do not agree with that. The good thing, the positive is that the media has not been, as far as predicting the Big 12, has not been successful in recent years, so I think that bodes well for us.

“But I’ll say this on a more serious note. I was sitting on the beach last week, whenever Mike Montoro, who’s the best in the business, who’s our sports information director for football, he sent me a text and I made the mistake of looking at it. From that point on, my vacation was over. I went into football mode.

“This is why I disagree, and this is why, first of all, it starts with belief in our staff and belief in our players, and then how we finish will be the next thing. We beat Oklahoma, beat Oklahoma State on the road, winning two of our last three games.

“Offensively this is going to be our best group. And then we have 132 starts returning on the offensive line, 132. If that’s not the most in the country, it’s got to be close. Within that group we’ve got four former freshman All-Americans. We’ve got three for sure all-conference type players. Two of them are here with us today. Zach Frazier who’s a two-time All-American, and then Doug Nester.

“We have a budding superstar at running back in CJ Donaldson, and defensively we’re going to be one of the most improved units in the Big 12, if not in the country.”

The post The Most Interesting Things Heard On Day Two At Big XII Media Days appeared first on Saturday Glory.